Can't tell no lies, I'm a fresh phenomenon
Mad hatter, badder than the necronomicon
Breakfast Ramadan blacklisted actress
Orthodontist, Jim Stafford, The Swamp Witch
Concussions that knock you unconscious
The rocket launches, crouch on your haunches
Ninjas haunt this place, honest injun!
Gonna have to take you in on suspicion
Lamp in your crib once you've gone to prison
Fashion an altar to my non-religion
Ganja pigeon flutter fast to pass muster
Seal the smokestack you wack ass buster
Kill the Kojak routine, get the bozack
There's no way you can pretend you didn't know that
The J was raw
The E was raw
The S was raw
The S was raw
The E was raw like you've never seen before
I'll flip you invertical to clean the floor
Wig removal, get heads open like convertibles
Maniacal laughter, they say I'm certifiable
After the massacre, rappers are half asleep
Their guts for my garters, as part of the majesty
Of life's rich tapestry, you could say it's habit forming
Like nun school... that's pretty bad. This morning
I'm uncool, hell, superlover punk!
Beats for the trunk for once, I'm on the hunt
For a brand new funk, hops, pack it in the lunch box
Unstoppable being, I'm seeing sunspots
Wheezing, lung doctor please give me one shot
Adrenalin solution, plus a puff of Ventolin
No mental institution is a match for the Jester
They should have been warned that I wasn't born yesterday
Dazzled with a vast array of fantasies I fascinate
For allay'all, I'm rapping to a volleyball, Castaway
Lyrically lacerating, Ladies Love Cool Jesse
Dangerously the hard case, harder than Scarface
Leading up the car chase on foot in my bare feet
No shoes on, Look at what I daily go through!
No-one is moving when I'm showing and proving
So no-one is getting hurt, I'm Jesse the Extrovert
I left for work late, I'm arriving what? tardy!
Laying down the law just to liven up the party
My rhymes run the gamut from cathartic and arty
To the Canadian equivalent of M&Ms - Smarties!
Not to mention hardcore rhymes written on cardboard
With black sharpie markers during breakfast at the Ardmore
Tea room. Blood loss, A plus in God class
Resume regular broadcast lineup
Word to the chronicles of Wind-Up Birds
Be still! ...? I'm absurdly skilled!
With a will to power I kill, devour and smash
You'll cower and I'll laugh for like an hour and a half!
Now we're in the last stage, gearing up for bosses
You may as well quit here and cut your losses!
You pusillanimous pugilist, repugnant republican
Hacksaw Jim Duggan lookalike slackjawed doubleknit
Butthead, you want violence? My talons are blood red!
Liquored up bad Catholic just challenged the Godhead!
Be grateful you're not dead, you hit planet rock bottom
Right? Julia Childlike, mandelbrot, sodomite
Run things into the ground, styles impudent
Shut your insolent mouth unless you're itching for an incident
Hit you with the kitchen sink first to get it over with
Feebleminded evil scientist, you're malodorous
A man your age should know the risks inherent in the enterprise
Apparently you don't though, hence your imminent demise
Kiss the sky goodbye, get comfy in your coffin
Never to return to earth... very often.


from Eastern Canadian World Tour 2002, released August 1, 2002


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rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem

"Sapphire meets Sappho meets Saafir meets Jonathan Saffron Foer;"
"not the Black Frank White, just the white Frank Black;"
"Wiz Khalifa meets Pat Califia;"
"like Buck 65 but faster and fat."
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