this song is so early in Wordburglar's career that my original lyric sheet credits him as "The Magical Mister Essjaenious" because that was the rap name he was using at the time. Don't you wish he'd stuck with THAT?
(I think I wrote "Essjae" on the back cover of the first run of the CD and had to change it by hand - using white-out - every time reissued it, until I finally edited it for the only professional pressing in 2004)
What? You want what? You must be on drugs!
I make the most thugged out dons want hugs
Get your knees burned on rugs from kneeling down to me
When I'm feeling ornery. Honorary coroner
You'll suffer from a coronary. I'm out of the ordinary.
Crypt keepers shiver and admit I'm sort of scary
While the orthodoxy would suggest that I'm sort of snotty
Also naughty like a toddler. Stockpile bottled water
Crocodile tears, my style clears the hurdles
Sample based (sample based), the only thing I fear is the Turtles
That's right I'm Oroku Saki, bitch, the trouble's obvious
I played a pickup game with the H E double hockey sticks
The properties of floppy disks are tragically fragile
My tongue blurs when it forms words, it's magically agile
It's bad to be facile, so I take great pains
To come off with the ferocity of irate freight trains
Like the ones my mate James covers with paint stains
Get at me dogs, it's brutal pitting poodles versus great danes
Hate chains our hearts and restricts our purpose
I consider it worthless. Yo check me out I'm picture perfect
Go Ess Jay, it's your birthday in spite of the calendar's date
Give it up for my pal ninja dreg! I wouldn't want to share his
challenger's fate... he's tough!
[Essjae] How tough?
[Jesse] So tough you'll be sufferin'!
[Essjae] Coming correct from Church street to Dufferin
[Jesse] You kids are small like MUSCLE men
[Essjae] We're large like Captain Action
[both] J D and S J - pure rapping satisfaction
I'm eating rappers like food because they have bat attitudes
They're crude, and look like something I poo'd
Out my buttcheeks a week ago, the unique paprika flow
Comic geek who calls Chuck Zeto a ho
Really though (yo) you better come with the beats and cuts
Plus you really need delivery like pizza hut
No buts, no ifs and definitely no maybes
CRAZY... like that lady
My references make sense like an encyclopaedia
My rhymes don't make you shit, they make you bleed diarrhea
Mama mia! Cut squares to octagons
Make italian rappers say "Oh no, not-a Sean!"
It's on the down low, but I got Tony Soprano,
Joe Pantoliano and Barry Manilow on the piano
Down at the Copa Cabana, just ask
I was undercover, dressed as Cobra Commander!
No propaganda, you'll never ask for your cash back!
Heads who like rap be like "Who was that on that last track?"
The extra liquor in your knapsack,
The 21 to your blackjack, the picnic basket in your hatchback!
If you act wack, you're gonna leave in a stupour
'Cause SJ's ill... it's not a rumour!